Last night I stayed up way later than I “should” have.
I probably SHOULD have made my way up the stairs when my husband did and got the amount of sleep that’s best for my body.
Those hours of rest that would probably best propel me through another day of mixing macaroni and cheese with one hand while I respond to a client email with the other.
I know sleep was probably the smarter option.
But I always. choose. the smarter. option.
And last night I just didn’t care. I didn’t.
Because all I wanted to do was sit on my big comfy couch that I spend all day telling the kids not to jump on… and just RELAX on it.
To do the same thing that the toys all over the floor were doing. Taking a breather from fulfilling their role with the kids during the day… and just getting to lay low and be where they were… until they clocked in for another day of controlled chaos when the light came through the windows.
So I did.
With only the light of my laptop to fill the room, I browsed the words of fellow writers. I played a chill country music playlist that reminded me of fireside chats with my small-town friends back in the day.
I gave my body and mind the ability to remember what it feels like to let go of have-tos and need-tos.. and to just BE.
Because my mind is constantly trying to do things to make myself better.
Taking myself and my goals more seriously. Making changes that would give me more balance in my day-to-day. Finding some sort of routine to latch onto. Being more present with my kids while not completely neglecting my own needs. Decluttering. Carving out more time to write. Making more phone calls to friends.
And that stuff is important. I need that stuff.
But sometimes I need the ability to not “need” to do anything… to just play hooky from always trying to BE everything.
To listen to music late at night for no other reason than it just feels good to not be “doing” all of the time.
To just be still….and have that be ok.
I know you need that too.
Maybe it’s not staying up until 1am. Maybe it’s choosing to play with the kids instead of clean the dishes. Maybe it’s taking a walk instead of folding the laundry. Maybe it’s sitting down at your table with breakfast and a coffee and not standing at the counter eating it in between responding to kids’ requests. Maybe it’s waking up and meditating instead of immediately going to the day’s chores.
Maybe it’s choosing to give your mind (and the “shoulds”) a rest…
And giving your spirit a chance to come up for air.