It was a single picture of me that did it.
I looked at it on my screen and saw “me” all over it. My spirit. My joy. My contentment. My true self. It was such a different look on me than I had seen in pictures in the past images that had a fake smile that hid sadness, anxiety, fear and isolation.
These last several years for me have been about mental and spiritual growth.
Learning how to maintain my sense of self in the midst of motherhood. Getting used to being vulnerable with my struggles. Shedding the need to people please and gaining the strength to speak my truth. Loving who I am and giving myself grace when I misstep. Looking anxiety in the face and vowing to give myself the tools to battle it.
It was an unsteady climb, but the true spirit emanating from that picture was worth every tear, anxiety attack and tough look in the mirror. I can confidently say my spirit is the most authentic it’s been in my adult life.
But as I moved my eyes down the image my heart sunk.