Any time that I have help with the kids for an hour or two – my mind immediately goes to all of the things I “should” get done… laundry, editing, emailing, cleaning, bill-paying… You know the list.
And what happens over time is that all of the “wants” go out the door. The book reading. The exercising. The spending time outside. The coffee-with-a-friend-ing.
I tell myself “I’ll do that next time” .. but next time never comes, because my mind is so conditioned to make all of that other “should” STUFF a priority.
For those of you who read my “freight train” piece… you know that I went through a low time. And coming out on the other side of that… I made a decision to start controlling the things that I could control when it comes to my happiness and well being. So when my hidden triggers or uncontrollable hormones catch fire… I will have ways to build a barrier of health and positivity to try to keep them out. And one of those commitments that I made was to pick the “wants” over the “shoulds” more often.
And today I put it into action. While I had a little help with the kiddos… DESPITE having a million and one things I felt I “should” have done… I dusted off my running shoes (literally. cobwebs), started up my podcasts (thanks, Brandon) and I went and fulfilled a “want.” I fed my body energy with the exercise, and I fed my soul with an inspirational podcast at the same time.
And it. felt. amazing.
I felt the sunshine. I smelled the flowers. I felt the blood moving through my stiff muscles. I felt that headache you feel when you haven’t exercised in a while and you can literally feel the stress coming out your pores.
I know going on a “run” isn’t something earth shattering. I know that people documenting their exercise isn’t earth shattering either. That’s not what this is about. I had my own kind of “a ha” moment when I was out there today.
About 10 minutes in (dying, might I add. Mama is not a 16-year-old track athlete anymore!) – I decided to take a fun photo. Not just because I’m THAT much of a nerd (I am) … but because I felt THAT good … and documenting that feeling is really good for me after going through so many low moments in the last couple of months. Continue reading